We all have habits - some serve us well and some get in our way…...Google states: “A habit is a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.” Establishing a habit usually takes about two weeks to become routine and is subsequently supported and reinforced by practicing it daily.
Habits that serve us:
Morning habits: getting up, eating breakfast, showering, brushing our teeth or, as an old boyfriend of mine used to say, “Shit, shower and shave” (crass but it makes the point! - may have been a generational thing!).
Evening routines: dinner, relaxing time, a standard bedtime, reading something not too interesting to keep us awake - leave the devices off, people! - and sleep.
Leaving for work (office or remotely), how we get there (same route, bus or train - or - walking to another room or downstairs), settling into our days, doing our work, going home, making time for our kiddos, animals or significant others (not necessarily in that order), leaving time for ourselves to decompress (very important!), exercise, planning our meals (you get the general idea) - all make our days smoother, predictable, less pinched, routine and ease our minds - all good things, and usually take some time to find rhythm. They are helpful and usually have orderly customs designed so we don’t have to think too much about the tasks of day to day life.
Habits that may get in our way:
Not blaming the pandemic entirely, but it certainly has highlighted some less than desirable habits by forcing us all into our very small worlds and providing bunches of extra time, punctuating some less than desirable habits of immediate gratification, (some to numb the dire news of Covid and events in the world, and some born simply out of boredom):
After work, plopping down in our pj’s (if we ever actually got out of them in the morning!), mindlessly scrolling through social media, growing roots on the couch binging latest Netflix series (back in the day, there were 3 channels and programming provided topics for discussion with our coworkers the next day at work because everyone was watching the same things - but I digress), having an extra glass (or 2) of wine after dinner (or in lieu of), eating a pint of ice cream, a whole bag of cookies or Doritos, smoking weed or tobacco. These habits provide ostensible comfort - we feel better in the moment. However, we are less likely to feel great tomorrow morning, being sleep-deprived from staying up too late watching TV, with a headache and brain fog or when we face the scale. AND unfortunately, these habits are likely to upend or disrupt our better habits listed in part above.
We’ve been thinking about the less tangible habits that we might want to revisit and may not be top of mind, but think are worth a look (a little obscure, but bear with us). We’ve been home with our “bubble people” for so long - interacting with colleagues remotely, we wonder if we’re forgetting the practice of engaging with humans outside our bubbles. Have we forgotten how to interact, conduct ourselves and communicate effectively with one another (there is no mute button in-person the way we have become accustomed to having on our Zoom calls); We can’t simply leave a conversation with the click of a button! Have we gotten out of the habit of practicing empathy, kindness, and compassion for others' mistakes and interacting with one another on a broader scale? What if we intentionally began creating the less tangible, less defined but equally important habits of reaching out to people we care about in business and in our personal lives? Courtesy, respect, conversations, our behaviors towards others, attitudes in interactions, benefit of the doubt, genuine curiosity when we don’t understand something, (kind!) candor, taking the time to understand others’ perspectives - in short - what if we made conversation a habit? What if we made interaction a habit? What if we made engagement a habit? What if we made respectful discourse a habit?
I taught my son to drive (who, most of you know, is the light of my life!), including, importantly, common courtesy, polite signals to other drivers and respect for others on the road. For example, when he wanted to merge into another lane in front of someone else, signal then acknowledging the courtesy, politely wave towards the rear window acknowledging his thanks for letting him in. To this day, when he lets someone merge in front of him and they don’t wave their thanks, he energetically and indignantly waves at them vigorously to highlight their lack of road courtesy. Salty indeed (he is his mother’s son). His intention, less than compassionate for sure, is merely to call out the general lack of politeness on the roads we all share (it happens a lot, sadly).
We’re out of practice Interacting with the fellow humans in our lives. Maybe it’s time to begin remembering and practicing these skills and habits? Delta variant notwithstanding, and if we’re fully vaccinated, having a coffee outside (while the weather’s still warm) and just talking to people in our lives: about work, about our experiences during the past year, how we see our futures and actually connecting with folks can be a balm for our souls and remind us how fundamental personal connection really is. This is a tangible, concrete action we can take and connection to others is absolutely a cornerstone of our human experience. Let’s pick up the phone to schedule a meeting in person - even if it’s only once a week, and begin to build this forgotten habit. Shall we?
Until next time……..